In the second installment of my ongoing series of swinging inanimate objects, I offer for your consideration the light above Jay and my bed. Much like the fan aswingin' so softly in the front right corner of the RV, this rebel of a light has dislodged itself from the ceiling, and now teeters on the brink of calamity directly above our oft sleeping heads.
Two screws have fallen out entirely, and now the altitudinal fate of the lamp rests entirely on the final two screws, and either leverage or friction, depending on whose balderdash answer you care to trust. In any case, the light persists even during this, the twilight of its existence, although it luminescence has waned due to several layers of duct tape futilely applied to maintain the lamp's original posture.
Several layers of duct tape, I must admit, are an egregious understatement. I have applied nearly half a roll, yet each morning I arise and the lamp hangs again, seemingly in mock of my elaborate T-Pattern effort to provide the duct tape lateral support. As I write, the lamp defies what must now be four pounds of tape, and bounces happily along dilapidated roadways.
Perhaps the lamp is unhappy. It's a pretty weird device of illumination. With three settings, the two-bulb device can be: off, half-on, full-on. Perhaps the lamp, much like the fan, was simply unhappy with its station in life. Perhaps it dreams of a more fulfilling mission, and hopes to be considered for chandelier-ship.
Whatever the case, I'm pretty sure the little bastard is going to hit me in the head while I'm sleeping one night, soon. When that happens, I will dispense with attempts at humor, and throw it in the Hudson.
See you in the NYC.
xoxo
No comments:
Post a Comment